| Runaway Hormones
Wreaking Havoc at Home…
By Belinda G. Alexander Dear
Journal,
My 'teens' were driving me crazy. This was until I reminded all
'minors' in this home that "I am the captain of this ship" --and then
I grabbed the wheel and detoured this hell-bound ride to search for calmer waters.
This journey has taken me to stages of life never before experienced and to places
I dare never to revisit once I am 'free' and by myself --yes 'I do have a dream'--
some day with grown up kids --living well and far-far away. But for now, It feels
more like a nightmare called 'Parent Hood ' I call it 'Clash of the Hormones!'
My hormones tried to trend down as theirs raged to rise up! Theirs-Yes, Them--the
Teens! At the time, as a 'forty-something' -single mom of a thirteen year-old
son and a fifteen year-old niece, my life had been more than a challenge. It was
very difficult to keep the days civilized with back-to-back challenges and choices
of morality, mortality, rights, responsibility rights and wrongs! My kids
said, "You're mean, you're too strict, you fuss, why can't I go?-- everyone
else is going-- it's not fair, I never get to have any fun, I hate this place,
I hate homework, I'll be glad to grow up and leave this house!" These kids
fail to understand that homework isn't my choice for an evening of fun and I,
also can hardly wait for them to grow up and "leave this house!" I count
the days, and sometimes I find myself even counting the minutes--either I will
throw them out or run away--then I remember, "this is MY house!" So
after taking a long deep breath and speaking ve-ry slow--ly, " One of these
days, I will just stand at the door and wave to them as they go on their grown-up
liberated way! Some day…in the too distant future…Some day… But
for now, I have to hang in there without getting hung up on the many 'surprises'
each new Parenting day brings. I must remind myself to breathe deeply and exhale
slowly ---knowing that it is for their good and for my survival! Raising teenagers
is truly a matter of life and death, however, we must take care not to prematurely
yield to the latter. Sadly, circumstances sometimes result in poor judgement,
irresponsible attitudes and reckless acts, by our young people. Today, society
is filled with frightening statistics on 'out- of-control' children and parent's
who have lost control. I am determined to do everything to help my children mature
to an enriched adult life. Throughout this, hopefully I will be able to salvage
some sense of sanity for steering through my wonderfully awaited 'empty nest years.'
It is difficult to navigate this ship as a single mom, however, my personal faith
and spiritual determination foretell that all will someday someway work out for
the best. I now understand what my mom meant, when she said, "This
hurts me more than it hurts you!" She was probably experiencing a headache
from the stress. Until then, I am the mean, strict, demanding, fussing mother
who loves them even when too often I don't 'like' them …very much! I find
myself echoing more words my mother spoke so many years ago, "You'll someday
understand and appreciate", and I see them looking at me with the same 'yeah
right' expression I was thinking back then, except, I would have never fixed my
lips to speak those words, No way! For now, I will continue to withstand
the challenges of my 'smart-mouth' teens. I will struggle to resist the urge to
pad-lock my doors when I see them coming home, and I'll just walk away from launching
a terminator body slam toward what briefly appeared to be strange creatures invading
from the dark corners of outer-space [certainly from out-side my house]. I will
win the battle of 'dueling hormones', as I hold steadily to my pen and keyboard
long hours into the quiet night…writing, trying to convince myself and other
parents…This too, shall pass…someday--Yes, peace and quiet…but
then the ALARM sounds and Ohhh…it's morning…here we go again!
Dear
Journal,
My life as a parent might be too ordinary for Oprah and too slow
for 'Springer' but the show must go on -- If I forget my lines, again-- I'll just
adlib another prayer and hold really tight around the curbs. "Buckle up Kids!" |
