|  By Elizabeth Pantley,
Author of Perfect Parenting and Kid Cooperation
During their growth
and development, children go through many stages of self-doubt. They are always
comparing themselves to others, and they often see themselves as coming up short.
As parents, we can offset this natural tendency in our children by giving them
the skills to think more positively. It is important that you really listen to
your children, and help them overcome their negative thoughts and beliefs. This
is, of course, easier to do if you practice positive thinking yourself.
Our world is so full of negative feedback. We need to arm our children with a
positive attitude, so that they can stay focused in the right direction. Let's
look at some typical negative statements from children, along with some positive
responses from their wise parents: I can't do it. Take your
time and try again. I have confidence in you. Heather hates me.
Sounds like you're feeling rejected by Heather, and that must hurt. I know you
want Heather to like you. Remember that you're a very lovable kid and a terrific
person, no matter what Heather, or anyone else, says or does. And, you know, she
may have a problem that has nothing to do with you. I'm just no good
in history. You've brought up Cs before-I know you can do it again. Besides
that, honey, nobody is good at everything. And look at this A in math, you've
always done well with numbers! I'm so clumsy. I'll never learn to
rollerblade! It's tough learning something new. Remember when you first
tried to ski, how hard it was? But you stuck with it, and now you're really good
at skiing. There is real value in discussing positive thinking and
self-esteem with your children on a regular basis. Sadly, these subjects are not
yet included in the school curriculum. There are good books written for children,
as well as adults, which demonstrate the use of positive thinking.
Reading
a book together is a good launching pad for starting a conversation. Pointing
out positive versus negative attitudes from news stories or life stories is an
excellent way of showing your children just how this all works in real life, too.
A great web site for finding lots of wonderful positive messages is: http://greatday.com
Modeling a positive attitude is one of the most effective ways of
teaching your children. Children learn what they live. So start presenting your
thoughts in a positive way, Oh well, I burned the dinner-guess that means we
get to eat cereal for dinner! Parents always hope that their children
will have a positive outlook on life, but most often how this happens is left
to chance. When you take this matter into your hands, and look for ways to guide
your children's thoughts in a positive direction, you will see very exciting results.
|
