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 | | Journal of FatherKnowsBest | | | | Entries 1 - 1 | | Single Dads have feelings too, Don't we? (6 Comments) | 2006-Jan-31 | My girlfriend says, "I feel uncomfortable around your children."
So I've been dating this woman for almost a year. From the begining, the oldest of my two sons (8 & 4) wasn't really taking to my new person. At first, I thought it was just his feelings of wanting his mother and I to get back together, however, after last week I feel differently.
After a longterm marriage, this is really the first real relationship I've had. It felt good to be wanted and want someone. Perhaps I overlooked most if not all the signs with regard to what she was really saying about my children.
Aside from the reoccupation of my former relationship/marriage, my new gal grew increasingly drawn to the previous "Mrs." roll in my life. I repeatedly assured her, there were not rolls beyond being the mother of my children. That said, we went on, or so I thought, with our relationship.
Last Thursday after several months of back and forth discussion with my girlfriend she disclosed she "No longer felt comfortable around my children." My initial response was shock. I have well mannered, polite and smart kids. Heck, we spent countless time together: Trips, dinners, family activities & holidays. I'm sure every parent feels this way, however, I can confirm this to be true for me.
She proceeded to explain that because my 8 year old hadn't taken to her in a way or a time frame she wanted, the only logical solution was he dislikes her. I explained that my son had several pressures in addition to the secret need to want mommy and daddy back together. I also explained to my girlfriend that my son's mother was having the same difficulties in her dating process and this would all run it's course, therefore we should be the adults and realize my son's coping tools are not as evolved as ours.
The net result was the statement: "I feel uncomfortable around your children" This was sparked by suggestion we take a trip to Hawaii after her birthday as a group. This said, the can of worms began to flow. I slept on it for two day and revisited it on a weekend day trip. Her feeling were exactly the same. It wasn't until my disposition changed and my shock turned into indifference toward her. Choosing between her and my children, my decision was clear: She'd had to go! We'd miss her, but she's outta here.
I couldn't risk investing anymore time in a woman who admitted that my children were a problem for her. Especially since, in a very short while I will become the primary caregiver with my children living with me full time. My family agreed and quickly told me to kick her to the curb, however, my feelings of loss are overwhelming. Painful as it may be, my position is unchanged, she's must go.
Am I wrong? | | |
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