It's August -- hard to accept but official summer is winding up. I'm not sure how that happened because I will swear it just started!
August is time to figure out back to school, and yes...even work your way towards Christmas planning. Too bad, because I was just getting used to the lazy summer days!
Don't miss what's new on the website! As a single parent money is often tight and we can't afford to buy our kids the latest and greatest clothes. So you've got a closet full of baby clothes but your toddler has only two pairs of pants, what are you going to do?
Visit ParentsWorld Swap, that's what! Our new area where parents can trade clothes, toys and other items is free to use and here's how it works. First off, you need to have created, and logged into, your free ParentsWorld account. once you've done that, go to the ParentsWorld Swap area and browse ads or place your own.
No one is ever allowed to charge you for the items posted. Your only cost will be shipping if you can't find what you need in your own area. Let's face it, $20 in shipping fees is much cheaper than buying new a whole box of clothes. Also, you get to decide if you or the receiving party will pay for shipping -- what ever works best for both parties. If you want, you can also specify to swap only with people in your own area.
Take a moment today to offer your items to someone in need or post your own message requesting things that you're short of. Let's build up the list so that we have a database brimming with items that people can use! To go to the Swap area, click here [3]
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Is Your Teen Driving You Crazy?
Is Your Teen Driving You Crazy?
Written by: Bill Knell
Web Site: Make Life Work For You! [10]
Teens test the limits of any parent’s sanity. It’s easy for parents to overreact and find fault with their teen, but there’s plenty of blame to go around. Start with nature. A recent series of tests have shown that all teenagers experience a certain amount of electrical disarray in their brain functions. This may account for what parents notice as unusual or irrational behavior at times. A parent’s overreaction to their teen’s annoying behavioral swings can add insult to injury and bring out the worst in any child.
Don’t worry, you are still in charge! A teen’s assertiveness is what prepares them for life apart from their parents. How you deal with them during those troublesome years is likely to set the tone for any relationship you hope to maintain with your child when they become adults. Reacting to their behavior strictly on emotion or as a challenge to your authority is unlikely to produce the results you want. It will also produce a wall between you and your teen which will end any useful communication.
As a dad with seven kids, it’s been my experience that parenting requires walking a tightrope. You have to balance a desire for your children to grow into responsible and fulfilled adults, with a need to allow them to develop their own personality and be who they want to be. Fortunately for me, none of them have taken up guitar and started playing ear-shattering music, while biting the heads off of canaries, hoping to be the next Ozzie Osbourne. But what happens if they do?
Growing up in the 1960s and 1970s, I had more then a few friends who had garage bands and wanted fame. Their parents tolerated what they considered to be a brief fling with music, but kept the pressure on for their kids to stay in school and pursue other career avenues while waiting for their big break. Most of those teens ended up as adults with other careers and appreciated the guidance their parents provided. This tells me that the way their parents handled things was reasonable and worked.
If your teen has a desire to move in a path that doesn’t suit you, it’s time for some serious decision making. If you shut off their opportunity to express themselves, you may shut them out. So you might have to tolerate some loud guitar playing from time to time in order to retain a certain level of influence over them. In other cases, you might have to make a few trips to the doctor because your teen loves skating or skateboarding and has sustained an injury or three. Make them understand that their ability to enjoy personal interests, which may or may not lead to a career, hinges on your ability to be allowed input into their choices.
It’s one thing to encourage self-expression, but another to provide negative influence. Many parents allow underage teens to drink alcoholic beverages or smoke in the home. Sometimes it has to do with the culture they come from, in other cases it’s allowed because the parents did it when they were teens. Before you allow your child to do something which is, essentially illegal, consider the ramifications. When you allow teens to break the law, for whatever reason, you are teaching them situation ethics. This means that they can obey or disobey the law, depending on the situation. But that’s not the only consequence.
A family with a teen who is the star of their school sports team is likely to host a victory party at one time or another. Some parents tolerate and even encourage the consumption of alcoholic beverages at such an event. They buy a keg of beer for everyone and balk at the idea that one beer is going to hurt anyone. But think of the precedent that sets? The lesson learned by teens will be that anytime anything exciting or good happens, it’s time for a beer or several. The old, “Do as I say, don’t do as I do” defense doesn’t hold water. Children learn by example and always have.
Even self-expression must have it’s limits. I met a family not long ago with two teen boys that were fourteen and sixteen years old. They moved into a home around the corner from where we lived. While talking with their father, I found out that the boys were completely obsessed with backyard wrestling. Their parents had even purchased an old boxing ring, fixed it up and allowed the kids to use it for wrestling matches. But after a friend of one of their teens had seriously injured himself while backyard wrestling at someone else’s house, the parents were having second thoughts. So what do you do when you said YES and now need to say NO?
As a youth, I had my own experiences with wrestling and got an idea. Most injuries that occur during backyard wrestling matches happen because there is no adult supervision. I suggested that the parents hit the books and find out everything possible about the Greco-Roman style of wrestling. What most kids watch on TV in the way of pro wrestling is a perversion of that. Real wrestling can be just as satisfying from the standpoint of a physical challenge as two people trying to hit each other with folding chairs or throw the other person out of the ring. They drew up a list of rules and made it so that neighborhood kids could take part in matches and practice only when they agreed to abide by the rules. Responsible adults would need to be present to referee matches or practice sessions. Taking these steps was a better choice then simply cutting the kids off from something they have grown to love.
Giving your teens room to stretch is very important. Treating a teen like a little kid is a terrible mistake. The key is to make them understand that having more personal freedom involves showing more personal responsibility. If you decide to extend a curfew for example, give your teen a cell phone or insist on preset check in times. Make sure they are ready, willing and able to tell you where they are at all times. Set reasonable limits. Teens left to themselves to cruise around aimlessly are accidents looking to happen. Help them learn the importance of time use and being able to focus on things by insisting they create an itinerary. Explain that their new freedoms are entirely dependent on their ability to use them without putting themselves at risk or getting in trouble. If they violate your trust, send a message by cutting back their privileges.
Things usually get ugly in most families when a teen doesn’t get what they want, but stand your ground! Giving in to their whims, reducing punishments or restoring privileges before the preset time will send a bad message. Instead, take the sting out of their time to reflect by going out with your teen. See a movie together, go bowling or participate in any sport you have a common interest in. Spending time with your teen is important. As much as they want to get away from you, they also need to know that you still love them. Nothing sends that message better then being involved in their life.
Most parents will spend the better part of a teen’s years trying to protect them from themselves. Body piercing and tattoos are a good example. When it comes to doing things that have permanent consequences, parents have an important decision to make. Even if parents have tattoos or body piercing, that doesn’t mean that allowing a teen to do it is a wise move. I cannot tell you how many times I have come across people whose children said to them later in life, “Why in the world did you let me do that?” Due to the many physical and mental changes they’re undergoing, what seems to them like a rational decision today may prove regrettable later in life. I recommend that parents urge their teens to put off any decisions that involve the permanent alteration of their personal appearance until after they move out on their own or reach their twenty-first birthday.
What about out and out rebellion? That goes much deeper then just self expression. In my view the real question is, “How much rebellion is too much?” Your kid decides that they want to go gothic, what do you do? To make a long story short, going Gothic usually means looking kind of like, well, a vampire! As bad as it sounds, it’s probably no worse then the pompadour haircuts and leather jackets, flower power tie dyed stuff, punk or disco looks from other generations. Ever seen a vintage 1940’s Zoot Suit? What might be a problem is that some gothic teens cut each other and actually drink blood. Your best response to a teen’s request to make any major changes to their wardrobe is probably, “Why?”
Most teens make major changes in their lives because they feel left out. This can be an invitation for cults and negative influences to step in and take over. Help your child to step back and take a look at why they might want to associate with one group or another. Give them options. The worst case scenario and the biggest cause of teen suicides is when a teen feels they have no options. For teens, today is far more important then yesterday or tomorrow. It’s all they can see. Show them that things will get better and involve them in an alternative activity with more positive aspects.
Being a parent isn’t a spectator sport, especially when it comes to teens. The more involved you are in your teenager’s life, the less likely it is that they will fall into the common teenage traps of drug abuse or teen pregnancy. The problems begin when you allow them to fall off of your radar screen. Allowing teens more freedom means watching what they do more closely. Talk to your teens, don’t preach, but explain the consequences of poor choices. If you did things that were less then desirable as a teen, never make light of or brag about your choices. The message you send is the message your teen will receive, so make it a positive one!
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Snickerdoodles
There's barely a child alive who doesn't love this classic recipe. Finding these in your lunch box would be a treat for any child!
| 1 1/2 C | Sugar |
| 1 C | Margarine (or 1/2 each Margarine & Butter) |
| 2 | Eggs |
| 2 3/4 C | Flour |
| 2 tsp | Cream of Tartar |
| 1 tsp | Baking Soda |
| 1/3 tsp | Salt |
| 3 TBSP | Sugar |
| 1 TBSP | Cinnamon |
Simple to make, fun to eat and a great change from plain old sandwiches.
| Tortillas | |
| Sliced Meats | |
| Sliced Cheese | |
| Lettuce | |
| Anything else you like! |
DECORATING CHILDREN'S ROOMS -- HIGH CHAIRS
High ChairsEventually, that little bundle of energy will be able to sit in a grown-up chair at the table, even if it takes a little longer for him to be able to make appropriate conversation with guests or know which fork to use for the escargot.
But until then, you've got the tricky in-between time to deal with, after your baby learns to sit up and before he learns that one always says "excuse me," when one burps at the table.
The high chair is your friend during these years, and it has become a better friend than the ones that were available when you were a baby. Just as ergonomics have been taken into account with desk chairs and keyboards, so too have they influenced the design of high chairs, and now there are several factors to consider when looking at them.
Of course your main concern will be whether or not the chair is safe; you want to make sure the chair is well-constructed enough so that there's no chance of it collapsing, taking Baby and his mashed peas down with it. The main consideration is that the wider the base, the more stable it will be.
TIP: To add a measure of reassurance, look for a chair that's certified by the Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association. They look at every imaginable aspect of the chair, and demand that folding chairs have locking devices, that there are no sharp edges, and that they must be properly labeled and come with appropriate literature about operation and maintenance.
The importance of safety can't be overemphasized. Cosco once recalled a million high chairs after getting reports of babies being injured when the seats separated from the frame or fell from the higher positions to the lowest. on some of the seats, the restraint anchor slipped through the seat.
When shopping, you should look carefully at the restraint system. As adults, we think of restraint at the table as not having that third helping of pasta puttanesca, but with Baby "restraint" is just about keeping him in his seat through the meal. There should be a sturdy, yet comfortable, strap that attaches to the waist belt and then passes through Baby's legs, so Baby doesn't slide down under the feeding tray. We all know that feeling, after a satisfying meal, of just wanting to slip into a reclining position, but it's better if you can stop this habit in Baby before it starts.
However, you can get a chair that has a reclining as well as an upright position. This isn't so that Baby can nap during dinner but is to allow for bottle feeding.
Remember that you'll be using your high chair for a long time; you hope it won't be until Baby goes to college, but you never know. You want something that is adjustable, so that you won't have to keep investing in a new one with every growth spurt.
In addition to the chairs for home use, for about $60 you can get a chair that attaches onto the edge of a table for travel use. This way you can take Baby to the Park Plaza for tea even before he's learned how to say "petite fours."
Another factor to consider is the material of the chair. In the olden days we all, babies and adults alike, sat on wood, almost as if we were punishing ourselves for sitting down. Now, however, high chairs, like sofas and other furnishings, came in cushy padded fabrics. Make sure the one you choose has a removable, washable cover, and that the plastic tray is easy to clean. The choice of different colors and patterns gives you a chance to harmonize your high chair with your overall kitchen decor.
–Sarah Van Arsdale
Copyright © 2003 Sheffield School of Interior Design
211 East 43rd St. New York, NY 10017
(212) 661-7270 Fax: (212) 867-8122
Email: info@sheffield.edu [13]
No matter if your children are already back to school or if they're going some time during the next thirty or so days -- August always will be back to school prep time. It's usually so well timed -- the kids are bored, there's "nothing" to do, they're sitting around whining enough that they are actually a wee bit excited to go back to school.
My family is lucky. We take for granted that the children go to a good school with good programs. Can you imagine what it would be like if your school couldn't even afford crayons for your children to colour with?
For everyone who didn't see this remarkable teacher on Oprah, you need to check out what he has been doing with both his time and his money. For the last two years, the founder of DonorsChoose [15], Charles Best, has supported the organization’s operation with most of his teacher’s salary. Here's how it works.
You go to the DonorsChoose [16] website and browse the projects that need funding. I've seen everything from $50 for crayons to $50,000 for lights. From there you can chose a project to fully or partially fund. DonorsChoose [17] staff does verify the teachers’ identities; confirms existence of the materials requested; negotiates discounts for those materials before attaching a cost to the proposal; and reviews the proposed student project. When a proposal is funded, DonorsChoose [18] purchases the materials (teachers don’t handle any monies), and sends the donor a feedback package of photographs and student/teacher thank-you notes for the sponsored project.
This year, we've decided to fund a project for Christmas. Though we enjoy "adopting" a family, this way we can make a difference in the lives of 40 people for the same cost it took us to adopt a family of two or three.
What project we chose to fund will obviously depend on what type of money we can raise. I'm hoping that if everyone even sends a dollar in towards it, we'll have the money to finance a project in no time. What happens if we don't get any money donated? I'll still fund a project personally but in the name of ParentsWorld.com
Watch the site for more information. I'll set up an area where you can both donate money and see how much has been donated to date. Also, once a project is funded I'll post the details and pictures there. Again, for more information check out the DonorsChoose [19] website. If you don't want to take part in our group project, please consider funding a project on your own.
Well folks, that's it for another month. As usual, if you have any suggestions or contributions let me know [20]! We're always up to suggestions and recipes sent in also have the chance to be included on the website.
Jill Lassaline, editor
Single Parents World
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