by Francesca Dobbyn
Child support. A term that causes so much conflict and animosity between parents, and yet it really shouldn’t.
I overheard a mom, the custodial parent, tell a friend that the father had not paid support in over 2 years. He stopped paying when she began dating. Not the first time I’ve encountered such a conversation and unfortunately not the last. The worst was the contractor who offers to lay off his workers and pay them under the table to avoid wage garnishing. How nasty.
I fail to understand why for some parents, support payments are looked upon so harshly by the paying parent. They seem to resent each and every penny which makes no sense. The federal guidelines are built on the principle that both parents should share the same portion of their income with their child as they would if they had continued to live together.
The custodial parent is already paying for housing, food, clothing, school related and recreation related activities. These payments go towards sharing in the responsibility of these costs. I’ve heard paying parents complain that the receiving parent is blowing ‘their’ money on a new car or new shoes. Well so what. If the custodial parent is receiving their support then they should be able to afford to live a lifestyle equal to the paying parent.
According to the Department of Justice “Families spend more on their children as family income increases, with the proportion of family income devoted to children remaining the same across all levels of income.” Therefore the "cost of raising a child" depends on how much income, and how many children the family has.
It doesn’t mean that the custodial parent has to be destitute before support can kick in.
As for trying to claim the new spouse should be paying and therefore the paying parent should be off the hook, child support is the joint responsibility of both parents, not their new spouses. If the parents were together they would share in the cost of raising the children, they should also share when apart as well. Parental responsibility is the key.
The receiving parent is expected to contribute to the costs of raising the children in proportion to his or her income. The standards of living of the children and the custodial parent are interrelated because they live together. Any money that the custodial parent spends on the household also benefits the children.
Not paying comes with some pretty stiff consequences. The government through the Family Responsibility Office can collect funds from federal sources such as income tax refunds and employment insurance benefits. They can also report the non-paying parent to the credit bureau, seize their bank account or asset, suspend their passport, seize lottery winnings and suspending their driver's licence.
The most serious consequence is to the kids. The custodial parent’s life is stressed financially creating stress in the home. Children often forgo activities and see a significant reduction in the lifestyle they were accustomed to. As always the kids are caught in the middle.
Viewing the payment charts available online, the costs don’t seem particularly prohibitive. According to statistics in 2002 it costs $160 000 to raise a child to the age of 18. That’s just under $9 000 a year on average. A person in Grey and Bruce earning the county average of $39 000 a year would pay $337 a month for one child and $557 a month for two children. For one child that’s less than half of the cost or raising a child, for two it’s down to 37% of the cost of raising a child.
Non-payment of support does not punish the custodial parent, paying it doesn’t elevate their lifestyle above the non-custodial parents lifestyle. The guidelines are specific, it is to balance the two households so they have the same lifestyle and both parents take responsibility in assuming the costs of raising the children they had.
If you didn’t volunteer to have the children, and they were unplanned, that’s unfortunate, but it doesn’t negate the responsibility.
Related Links:
The Family Responsiblity Office [3]
Child Support in Canada [4]
| Comments | |
| MotherEarth
03.11.04, 16:29 |
In my humble opinion, the well-being and livelihood of a child should be first and foremost on the Priority List between ALL parents; together or not!!!! I am slowly but surely convincing my almost 2-year-old's father of just that fact. Soon after our break-up, I suffered not just through the stress of being a newly re-employed, first-time mom of a six month old, but sporadic and partial payments from this bitter, vindictive, son-of-one who deemed the ONLY THING I EVEN HAVE TO DISCUSS WITH HIM as a means of control. I came up with a convincing slogan, which ends all arguments he may try to initiate: "Willingly or Legally". It's tough to have to put the fear of god and Law into the heart of a man who simply has extensive maturity issues, but it's got to be done. I see no reason why my child's day care expenses shouldn't be paid. I keep her. I clothe her. I feed her. I house her. I politely broke down to this "Peter Pan" of a man that any reasonable judge in my high-profile county would deem it ridiculous that a court-case would even have to be circulated for such a menial contribution, and that he may be inviting tougher taxes with his impudence. So far, okay..... In the end, I've learned an invaluable lesson about responsiblity and choosing your mate WISELY!!!! It's sadly funny how, when sharing a home and bed with this man, he used to BEG me to take him money for my use, and now that I'm asserting myself, he resorted to vindictiveness. But I refuse to let him win. WILLINGLY OR LEGALLY!!!!! |
| Frogkb
01.02.05, 22:48 |
I agree with almost all of this. However, I know from personal experience that this statement right here: "Not paying comes with some pretty stiff consequences." is not true. The consequences the author listed are correct however I disagree with them being "pretty stiff". I think that there should be tougher consequences for parents who do not pay their child support. My husband already owes the government and he doesn't file his taxes; his credit is already shot; his doesn't have a bank account or own anything; he doesn't have a passport AND he has no license. SO BIG FREAKIN DEAL!! He just continues to not pay - end of story. |
| malimom
18.02.05, 11:46 |
Arghh!! I'm just going through this right now. My soon to be ex was paying for the last six months, a fair amount that corressponded with the fed support tables. Last night he announced that since his business was slow (oilfield related) he is giving it up, filing for bankruptcy, and finding another job so he will have 0 income for the next few months (basically going from a very high 5 figure- or low six- income to less than half of what he would make normally). He is in the same boat as the ex mentioned above in regards to taxes and credit etc. I don't know what to do, I know I can't rely on child support so I am hooped basically. I'm starting the divorce action next week, and since he hasn't signed anything (ie. separation agreement)the court will decide. And I don't expect him to find his own lawyer to contest anything, he just doesn't care. I am sympathetic to his financial problems and understand that sometimes business is slow, but he is making himself to be the victim. It's frustrating, to the point where I really don't care anymore, but I'm trying to find a happy medium for both of us so the kids don't suffer if he doesn't pay anything, or if he takes it out on them if he does have to pay. This may seem complacent, but I'm just happy to be away from him now and I know I can't expect financial support every month (or at all) so the amount of child support the courts decide won't really matter if he won't pay it anyway. Even with maintainence enforcement, he's the type of guy that will just not work if it means a wage garnish or any other repercussions. It's easy to say the law is on our side, they have to pay, but it doesn't mean that they will. This whole experience is an illustration of the importance of raising my son with values and ethics so he doesn't grow up to be a jerk(for lack of a better word). Oh well, wish me and the kids luck on this. Hopefully everything will be resolved. |
| lina92648
06.08.05, 23:33 |
Yes, sadly it's true, there are too many non-custodial parents who have been very good at ignoring their responsibilities. Clearly, those who don't happily and VOLUNTARILY pay their child support, are devoid of any moral and/or ethical character and it therefore comes as no surprise that they ignore the laws requiring filing of tax returns, don't care about their credit history and live without bank accounts and valid driver's licenses. Sadly, (and forever amazing to me) is that many of these irresponsible malcreants somehow manage to find new mates who are willing to support them, not only financially, but by helping them continue to hide their income and assets in order to avoid paying their child support. Obviously these new mates are just as, if not more, amoral and unethical as they are and in my opinion, they deserve each other. I'm disappointed that the system (government)is not perfect but I recognize that no matter what laws are passed, there will never be a law that will change character. . . a law that will change a controlling, minipulative non-paying parent into a loving, generous and giving one. Though the system has been disappointing to you and I'm sure others, I am pleased to know that there are many others who would have seen no support whatsoever if there had been no child support agency. I know that last year in Los Angeles County alone, over $400 million in child support was collected and distributed to children. A drop in the bucket" some would say, but a huge leap from the collections made not long ago. It's taken a generation to pass the laws that we have today for enforcing and collecting child support and every year, more laws are passed that give the child support agencies more 'teeth'to get the job done. In the meantime, I hope that custodial parents will continue to instill in their children those values lacking in their non-paying parents and that in the future, when our children reach adulthood, they will make sure their own children never have the same experience. |
| ep2002
13.12.07, 17:21 |
Hi there, I'm glad I found this site, but I'm not sure if this site is Canadian or anyone can join/post. I'm ONLY looking for a Canadian Advocacy group that I can join to help make changes to the existing child custody laws. I'm not new to this like some of the commenters are. I have been down the road a few times wasting over $100,000 on legal fees just to get a decent amount of child support. Most of my lawyers were morons who either stole from me or didn't give me good advice. I haven't had a lawyer in years (since '98 or thereabouts), & I don't plan on getting another one unless they are pro bono. What I do want to see is the change, & the government taking responsibility for their laws. Bitching & venting is great, but it doesn't change anything. Anyone who wishes to talk to me, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you Michelle |