One of the things that will help you deal with a death and the grief that it will bring is how closely you as a family deal with it. Talk to each other, cry with each other, keep the lost parent alive through conversation.

So many parents are afraid to cry in front of their children. They don't want their children to be afraid. Well surprise, they're already afraid. Your being able to cry and say you miss the other parent will help your children to cry and talk with you.

To us, Daddy is not always brought up in melancholy conversations. We can drive somewhere and say "remember when we went there with Daddy?" and start talking and have a good memory to share together. Laugh. It's OK to laugh.

When I was re-tilling the bathroom floor and mistakenly sat in the bucket of tile glue, the kids had a wonderful belly laugh saying "Dad's up there laughing at you right now."

Daddy might be gone, but daddy still lives in our house through our memories, our laughter, and our stories.