Other than the obvious Birthdays and Christmas, there are other not so obvious times that will be hard.

My hardest was back to school this year. My oldest is a senior in Junior High, she has her first job, and is growing into quite the beauty. My middle child is in her first year of junior high and decided to switch to a French Immersion school. My youngest is now in grade five and growing into quite the little guy. Dad's missing it all. I cried so much the first day of school I though I was going to burst.

A Dad should know about all these things. A Dad should be there and be proud. My children have been so ripped off!

These are all valid points. My grief snuck up o­n me and I was unprepared for it. Although I hid out while the children were at school and cried alone, I also let them know I felt so bad that their Dad wasn't there to see these things happen. We all talked, and in the end I felt better.

For me, the majority of the time I feel better if I'm with my children when I feel down. They have said that seeing me get down and getting back up has taught them it's OK too. They've learned not to mope alone in their rooms, falling into a solitary depression. We, as a family know, that we are our best support system.

Of course, there's time where anyone needs space. The simplest idea I came up with for my kids was a door hanger (like the "do not disturb" o­nes at hotels). o­ne side says "come hug me" and the other side says "I want to be alone for now". When my middle daughter is feeling down she'll go to her room and play Lonestar's "I'm Already There". It was the song that they played at her Dad's funeral. She can cry, beat her pillow, and be alone. When she's feeling like it she'll flip over her door hanger or simply come out for a hug.