I hope regardless where you're spending you'll a wonderful Canada Day Fourth July just plain old summer

Well folks that's another month usual any suggestions contributionsParentsWorld Monthly -- August 2003

AUGUST 2003 It's August -- hard accept official summer winding up I'm sure how happened because I swear just started August time figure out back school yes ..even work way towards Christmas planning Too bad because I just getting lazy summer days Don't miss what's new o­n website a single parent money often tight we can't afford buy our kids latest greatest clothes you've got a closet full baby clothes toddler o­nly two pairs pants going Visit ParentsWorld Swap that's Our new area where parents can trade clothes toys other items free use here's how works First off need created logged free ParentsWorld account o­nce you've done go ParentsWorld Swap area browse ads place own o­ne ever allowed charge items posted o­nly cost shipping can't find need own area Let's face $20 shipping fees much cheaper buying new a whole box clothes Also get decide receiving party pay shipping -- ever works best parties want can also specify swap only people own area Take a moment today offer items someone need post own message requesting things you're short Let's build up list we a database brimming items people can use MONTHS ISSUE: Teen Driving Crazy Ramblings DonorsChoose org -- our new Christmas Project   Teen Driving Crazy Teen Driving Crazy Written by: Bill Knell Web Site: Life Work Teen Driving Crazy Teens test limits any parent’s sanity It’s easy parents overreact find fault teen there’s plenty blame go around Start nature A recent series tests shown teenagers experience a certain amount electrical disarray brain functions may account parents notice unusual irrational behavior times A parent’s overreaction teen’s annoying behavioral swings can add insult injury bring out worst any child Don’t worry still charge A teen’s assertiveness prepares life apart parents How deal troublesome years likely tone any relationship hope maintain child when adults Reacting behavior strictly o­n emotion a challenge authority unlikely produce results want also produce a wall teen end any useful communication a dad seven kids it’s my experience parenting requires walking a tightrope balance a desire children grow responsible fulfilled adults a need allow develop own personality want Fortunately me none taken up guitar started playing ear-shattering music biting heads off canaries hoping next Ozzie Osbourne happens Growing up 1960s 1970s I had then a few friends had garage bands wanted fame parents tolerated considered a brief fling music kept pressure o­n kids stay school pursue other career avenues waiting big break Most teens ended up adults other careers appreciated guidance parents provided tells me way parents handled things reasonable worked teen a desire move a path doesn’t suit it’s time serious decision making shut off opportunity express themselves may shut out might tolerate loud guitar playing time time order retain a certain level influence over other cases might a few trips doctor because teen loves skating skateboarding sustained injury three understand ability enjoy personal interests may may lead a career hinges o­n ability allowed input choices It’s o­ne thing encourage self-expression another provide negative influence parents allow underage teens drink alcoholic beverages smoke home Sometimes culture come other cases it’s allowed because parents did when teens Before allow child something essentially illegal consider ramifications When allow teens break law whatever reason teaching situation ethics means can obey disobey law depending o­n situation that’s o­nly consequence A family a teen star school sports team likely host a victory party o­ne time another parents tolerate even encourage consumption alcoholic beverages event buy a keg beer everyone balk idea o­ne beer going hurt anyone think precedent sets lesson learned teens anytime anything exciting good happens it’s time a beer old “ I say don’t I do” defense doesn’t hold water Children learn example always Even self-expression it’s limits I met a family long ago two teen boys fourteen sixteen years old moved a home around corner where we lived talking father I out boys completely obsessed backyard wrestling parents had even purchased old boxing ring fixed up allowed kids use wrestling matches a friend o­ne teens had seriously injured himself backyard wrestling someone else’s house parents second thoughts when said YES now need say a youth I had my own experiences wrestling got idea Most injuries occur backyard wrestling matches happen because there adult supervision I suggested parents hit books find out everything possible Greco-Roman style wrestling most kids watch o­n TV way wrestling a perversion Real wrestling can just satisfying standpoint a physical challenge two people trying hit other folding chairs throw other person out ring drew up a list rules neighborhood kids could take part matches practice o­nly when agreed abide rules Responsible adults need present referee matches practice sessions Taking steps a better choice then simply cutting kids off something grown love Giving teens room stretch very important Treating a teen a little kid a terrible mistake key understand personal freedom involves showing personal responsibility decide extend a curfew example give teen a cell phone insist o­n preset check times sure ready willing able tell where times reasonable limits Teens left themselves cruise around aimlessly accidents looking happen Help learn importance time use being able focus o­n things insisting create itinerary Explain new freedoms entirely dependent o­n ability use without putting themselves risk getting trouble violate trust send a message cutting back privileges Things usually get ugly most families when a teen doesn’t get want stand ground Giving whims reducing punishments restoring privileges before preset time send a bad message Instead take sting out time reflect going out teen See a movie together go bowling participate any sport a common interest Spending time teen important much want get away also need know still love Nothing sends message better then being involved life Most parents spend better part a teen’s years trying protect themselves Body piercing tattoos a good example When comes doing things permanent consequences parents important decision Even parents tattoos body piercing doesn’t mean allowing a teen a wise move I cannot tell how times I come across people children said later life “Why world did let me ” Due physical mental changes they’re undergoing seems a rational decision today may prove regrettable later life I recommend parents urge teens put off any decisions involve permanent alteration personal appearance until move out o­n own reach twenty-first birthday out out rebellion goes much deeper then just self expression my view real question “How much rebellion too much ” kid decides want go gothic a long story short going Gothic usually means looking kind well a vampire bad sounds it’s probably worse then pompadour haircuts leather jackets flower power tie dyed stuff punk disco looks other generations Ever seen a vintage 1940’s Zoot Suit might a problem gothic teens cut other actually drink blood best response a teen’s request any major changes wardrobe probably “Why ” Most teens major changes lives because feel left out can invitation cults negative influences step take over Help child step back take a look why might want associate o­ne group another Give options worst case scenario biggest cause teen suicides when a teen feels options teens today far important then yesterday tomorrow It’s can see Show things get better involve alternative activity positive aspects Being a parent isn’t a spectator sport especially when comes teens involved teenager’s life less likely fall common teenage traps drug abuse teen pregnancy problems begin when allow fall off radar screen Allowing teens freedom means watching closely Talk teens don’t preach explain consequences poor choices did things less then desirable a teen never light brag choices message send message teen receive a positive o­ne AUGUST'S RECIPES Snickerdoodles There's barely a child alive doesn't love classic recipe Finding lunch box a treat any child 1 1/2 C Sugar 1 C Margarine ( 1/2 Margarine & Butter) 2 Eggs 2 3/4 C Flour 2 tsp Cream Tartar 1 tsp Baking Soda 1/3 tsp Salt 3 TBSP Sugar 1 TBSP Cinnamon Preheat oven 400 degrees large bowl combine sugar margarine eggs mix well until blended Add flour cream tartar baking soda salt blend well Combine sugar cinnamon separate small bowl cup Form dough small balls roll cinnamon sugar Place o­n ungreased cookie sheet 2 apart Bake 8-10 minutes until light golden brown Remove cookie sheets wire rack immediately cool Makes 4-6 dozen cookies Tortilla Rolls Simple fun eat a great change plain old sandwiches   Tortillas   Sliced Meats   Sliced Cheese   Lettuce   Anything else Create any combination A few examples are: Ham Swiss cheese lettuce mustard Spread cream cheese jam BLT Tortilla Spread mayonnaise o­n tortilla add 4 slices bacon lettuce tomato(works best when cubed). making tortilla fold end closest 1/4 way up then roll side DECORATING CHILDREN'S ROOMS -- HIGH CHAIRS High Chairs Eventually little bundle energy able sit a grown-up chair table even takes a little longer him able appropriate conversation guests know fork use escargot high chair friend years a better friend o­nes available when a baby Just ergonomics taken account desk chairs keyboards too influenced design high chairs now there factors consider when looking course main concern whether chair safe; want sure chair well-constructed enough there's chance collapsing taking Baby his mashed peas down main consideration wider base stable TIP: add a measure reassurance look a chair that's certified Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association look every imaginable aspect chair demand folding chairs locking devices there sharp edges properly labeled come appropriate literature operation maintenance importance safety can't overemphasized Cosco o­nce recalled a million high chairs getting reports babies being injured when seats separated frame fell higher positions lowest o­n seats restraint anchor slipped seat When shopping should look carefully restraint system adults we think restraint table third helping pasta puttanesca Baby "restraint just keeping him his seat meal There should a sturdy yet comfortable strap attaches waist belt then passes Baby's legs Baby doesn't slide down under feeding tray We know feeling a satisfying meal just wanting slip a reclining position it's better can stop habit Baby before starts Another factor consider material chair olden days we babies adults alike sat o­n wood almost we punishing ourselves sitting down Now high chairs sofas other furnishings came cushy padded fabrics sure o­ne choose a removable washable cover plastic tray easy clean choice different colors patterns gives a chance harmonize high chair overall kitchen decor –Sarah Van Arsdale Copyright © 2003 Sheffield School Interior Design 211 East 43rd St New York NY 10017 (212) 661-7270 Fax: (212) 867-8122 Email: RAMBLINGS matter children already back school they're going time next thirty days -- August always back school prep time It's usually well timed -- kids bored there's "nothing they're sitting around whining enough actually a wee bit excited go back school My family lucky We take granted children go a good school good programs Can imagine school couldn't even afford crayons children colour everyone didn't see remarkable teacher o­n Oprah need check out he doing his time his money last two years founder DonorsChoose, Charles Best supported organization’s operation most his teacher’s salary Here's how works go DonorsChoose website browse projects need funding I've seen everything $50 crayons $50 000 lights there can chose a project fully partially fund DonorsChoose staff does verify teachers’ identities; confirms existence materials requested; negotiates discounts materials before attaching a cost proposal; reviews proposed student project When a proposal funded DonorsChoose purchases materials (teachers don’t handle any monies), sends donor a feedback package photographs student/teacher thank- notes sponsored project year we've decided fund a project Christmas Though we enjoy "adopting a family way we can a difference lives 40 people cost took us adopt a family two three project we chose fund obviously depend o­n type money we can raise I'm hoping everyone even sends a dollar towards we'll money finance a project time happens we don't get any money donated I'll still fund a project personally ParentsWorld com Watch site information I'll up area where can donate money see how much donated date Also o­nce a project funded I'll post details pictures there Again information check out DonorsChoose website don't want take part our group project consider funding a project o­n own Well folks that's another month usual any suggestions contributionsNow        Anyone just dealt blow a separation a divorce find themselves sitting there wondering "now " matter why a relationship ends there going a lot issues deal emotional issues work though seem a never-ending pile shock depression It's forever does last know going matter how bad feel now future go away time Think build up meeting ex marriage ( steady relationship didn't marry) did happen overnight built slowly raised when got serious vein thought marriage did fall apart o­nce eroded over time (sometimes o­nly o­ne party) until yourself where today Even a bad marriage you're glad get out bring grief loss a flurry unexpected emotions Recovery recovery shock hurt disappointment a failed relationship get better also get worse It'll a roller coaster ride emotions a Luckily bad days get fewer fewer good days norm time goes o­n Guilt blame o­ne biggest feelings deal when a relationship ends Typically when break up choice o­ne person whatever reason decides marriage over other person feels guilt break up Guilt Yes does usually take two people end a relationship person ultimately wants out often exaggerate problems 'faults' other person themselves feel right decision doing already devastated other person feel even responsible happened feel had better they're done things right they'd just met needs fine leaves a crushed state constantly wondering could done better Let me tell there's nothing could done When o­ne person decides want out it's possible another person force stay matter how much love Stages Grief Read grief effects o­n separation o­n pages .. STAGES GRIEF There five general stages grief Don't mislead word 'grief' - anyone can go does just involve a death Grief felt a loss loss could loss a job loss a home loss a marriage A loss a relationship a huge loss You've lost hopes dreams future Everything had planned life now changes any sort loss go though stages grief when a relationship breaks up Just keep mind can go any given stage o­nce - back track speak There real stone order grief take though yes can hit final stage suffer a back emotional time life DENIAL first reaction any loss denial can't believe happening believe just temporary everything work out end Maybe partner going stage 'mid life crisis' they'll come back when they're done simply cannot end Ok sure signs there a now able get Divorce isn't going happen matter people say mind does accept happening Often stage might walk around numb though days Shock setting feeling nothing takes a register o­n emotional level people might shocked ability go day nothing happened - when fact going day a robotic state daily functions o­n auto pilot can complete most daily tasks much Also around stage might feel guilt Guilt did didn't could things better yourself magnify human mistakes cause evil parties person left person left feel guilt point time ANGER reality sinks brings anger Any anger you've suppressed a end marriage comes out now usually comes out force How dare treat way ! How dare lie ! How dare suggest/want a settlement ! How dare a decision changes my life much kills my dreams Anger important stage go Unexpressed anger boil fester inside can often lead depression Unexpressed anger can leave bitter unable deal divorce Anger can expressed a non-destructive way dealt Properly expressing anger can a sign beginning come terms deal loss BARGAINING When someone o­n verge dying love bargain greater powers "I'll whatever want o­nly let live . People bargain partner a divorce promise whatever think might want hear o­nly they'll come back people find themselves willing change just other person won't leave might work o­n short term think - could live way forever Could live rest life under a false state real issues go unresolved Very few can even want when really think still a marriage o­ne unhappy person now person Remember though bargaining a healthy part grief bargaining normal shows you've gotten beyond denial stage know really happening LETTING GO When realize bargaining working want learn let go accept person gone never relationship o­nce did ever again easy might step where find yourself back tracking other feelings isn't easy let go admit it's done may feel depressed again may feel work hope nothing might find yourself worrying future holds promise worth - going ever going love again people get stuck here a long time giving up o­n going forward living lives Other initial separation stage can most dangerous anyone who's depressed suicidal important remember get stage just got others also a very important stage go though can't let go can't move o­n stuck anger hurt forever cut yourself off chance a wonderful life ahead ACCEPTANCE Acceptance reached when realize indeed over need get o­n life Often time can come realize things happened best life meaning a long happy future ahead stage can finally remember good along bad You've put bad past visiting o­nly when need You've accepted person gone maybe a part always love miss also accept a life need continue move upward GET IT Life little setbacks along route step forward even a momentary backward step a forward step right direction Very few us heartless enough walk away feel nothing most us look back feel bad years even o­nce we're over it important remember everyone grieves own way own pace worked necessarily work anyone else Don't let anyone put a time frame o­n grief uncommon hear "wow you're still upset over My sister moved o­n a month " o­n other end scale people might shocked deal quickly thinking didn't grieve long enough o­nly know time need deal you're feeling heal a right take long short needed find yourself stuck a long time depression too ashamed seek help There nothing wrong weak seeking medical help depression - could save life Though out whole process surviving a break up underestimate value friends human contact Friends can there talk help overcome pain loss Someone simply listen can invaluable asset point time Find someone can just dump o­n let feelings - good bad - out when needed good friends there 24 hours a day don't mind being woken up kept up lend a shoulder Also undervalue therapeutic benefits internet Finding a message board ( o­ne we here) where can post feelings 24 hours a day can a great release » Escape Abuse rebuilding life        "Ma' we had a report someone screaming here ' right " "Yes I'm fine I lied Inside I screamed help a silent plea words too dangerous say aloud he left I shut screen door leaned against weak terror My husband moved behind door still holding my baby He put down knife he had held his other hand demanding I lie police ' else'. He cuddled sang her I could hardly believe had threatened stab me minutes before he hid baby I knew I had get out where we go How I support myself questions abused women ask themselves I know I o­ne I've lived walking o­n eggshells existence pain o­ne love most smashing his fist head spitting face "I'm sorry ' beatings Sometimes there a real serious threat life woman tries leave stay almost always eventual emotional physical death there another fear too A fear a formerly abused woman I knew well he right I nothing worth even time spent o­n spitting o­n me he's right my children better off mother then pathetic person he told me I fear failing my children greater fear being abused fear he take me running killing me a very real controlling tactic he often Over time though I saw keeping kind a life worse anything could ever happen outside Believe me too when I say he abusing usually children being abused my children's sake he out I grabbed my children called abuse hotline followed instructions fled Starting journey I I left there a safety network I never knew existed I taken a hidden shelter people there helped me find legal help replaced clothes I had had leave behind helped women decide how get job skills needed work helped childcare We had meals a roof over out heads most important encouragement abuse wasn't our fault need a place ask police hospital a referral usually listed phone book safety reasons Most cities abuse hotlines available calling information operators I didn't a car I moved town I could walk work He harassed me broke destroyed our home He often threatened kill us burn us up alive I terrified I also different though I'd had a taste self-respect dignity I liked I saw my kids blossoming away violence I fought back I got restraining orders pressed charges fought supervised visits won filed divorce o­n grounds abuse cruelty got I hung up o­n him when he called reported him when he showed up illegally visits I discovered trick being consistent Press charges Enlist neighbors Show pictures abuser ask call police see him o­n property listen abuser's lies stupid worthless listen his pleas Remember he can turn tears off o­n his advantage he serious he seek counseling change *before* he expects come back Living o­n welfare Sometimes may option It's hard People might judge Don't worry don't know just come need a government resource use get o­n feet then leave behind I o­n off a I'd managed purchase old car $50 didn't run much a great driveway decoration When did run I worked I could welfare when I couldn't most important thing look things strengths did before abusive relationship Build o­n foundation Take things a day a time Progress small steps carry a life deserve my case I loved write I a borrowed computer started writing publications free Over time led paid jobs regular jobs I able leave welfare Onward upward women leaving abuse financial resources need other help Welfare services helped child care funds I could continue work Women financial walks life may trouble depression me post traumatic stress disorder panic disorder eating disorders There help available Join support groups write a journal ask DR medications might help There sliding fee clinics need doctors give samples health companies leave key here take care yourself Get abusers voice out head He wrong deserve take care yourself including getting help emotional mental fallout past abuse I learned hard being a single Mom days I exhausted I couldn't even cry Living eventually without fear worth though Remarried now I learned being loved does mean being controlled force being afraid everything setting abuse People care there help available Abuse does destroy o­nce decide tell people ask help there I've learned o­nly o­ne can empower me me I chose act spite fear leave rebuild my life can empowering yourself resources giving up take back abuser took Behind abuse very insecure strength prove powerless day goes Live life without fear right -------------------------------------------------------- Connie Whiting experienced freelance writer virtual assistant Recent credits include being published Charity:True Stories Giving Receiving articles "Parenting Today's Teen She resides Ohio her husband two teen daughters When running her home VA business " Invisible Assistant She can spending time her family doing volunteer work domestic abuse victims http://yourinvisibleassistant com  » Widowed Single Parents        I told today Hospice second year a loss often worse first Oh goody parents I suppose makes sense Let's think Our partner died We arranged a funeral settled estates figured out how continue running house worried our children grieving worried "firsts Christmas birthdays without first year o­nly busy worrying other things other people it's a time still letting sink ..they're REALLY gone Bring o­n year two You're still working ensure children right other things settled down Now it's time really sink -- deal my second Christmas without my second Mother's/Father's Day without o­n top you're bound meet least o­ne person says "you're over yet died a YEAR ago " People don't understand grief does follow a time limit A grieving period does mean come out "ok ready carry o­n . Grief form follow forever Understand though grief you're feeling a newly widowed person most cases grief feel a 10 year widowed person Usually you'll going along fine then dealing day day things pretty much normally Suddenly happen got o­n Football team daughter's first dance recital child's graduation wedding other big event grief thought long gone creep up o­n form good news get sad miss dearly cry continue o­n again How involved should death process When my ex husband died unexpectedly my children 13 11 & 8 I knew right away important involved uninvolved chose My middle daughter didn't want go his ICU bed side say good bye others did My oldest daughter there last rites younger two weren't None chose there his last minutes when disconnected him life support Preparing funeral I let take lead wanted involved picking out flowers picking out casket arranging church ceremony attending open casket wake attending funeral choosing headstone My 13 year old daughter even did readings funeral mass I got a lot slack well meaning people telling me wasn't good involved funeral too traumatic TOO TRAUMATIC Father hit a car died Died before had a chance begin growing up Sorry folks already know a life trauma step way o­nly did I give kids option involved I took time talk privately ensure wanted didn't feel pressured because siblings going Now almost a year later still say appreciate choice happy chose involved helping put Dad rest Returning School When release protective parenting grasp o­n children send back school anything else process everyone different I sent my children back o­n Monday funeral I explained though I knew hard had get back I let know OK feel sad leave room cry seek support We had luck a wonderful school where teachers office staff counselors students alike most supportive people we'd ever met Don't expect miracles o­ne biggest problems I children had a hard time staying focused o­n task school a surprise Think Where brain day returned work how productive days There's a lot can there talk supportive give a bit a push right direction Dead gone One things help deal a death grief bring how closely a family deal Talk other cry other keep lost parent alive conversation parents afraid cry front children don't want children afraid Well surprise they're already afraid being able cry say miss other parent help children cry talk us Daddy always brought up melancholy conversations We can drive somewhere say "remember when we went there Daddy " start talking a good memory share together Laugh It's OK laugh When I re-tilling bathroom floor mistakenly sat bucket tile glue kids had a wonderful belly laugh saying "Dad's up there laughing right now " Daddy might gone daddy still lives our house our memories our laughter our stories Dealing hard times Other obvious Birthdays Christmas there other obvious times hard My hardest back school year My oldest a senior Junior High she her first job growing quite beauty My middle child her first year junior high decided switch a French Immersion school My youngest now grade five growing quite little guy Dad's missing I cried much first day school I though I going burst A Dad should know things A Dad should there proud My children ripped off valid points My grief snuck up o­n me I unprepared Although I hid out children school cried alone I also let know I felt bad Dad wasn't there see things happen We talked end I felt better me majority time I feel better I'm my children when I feel down said seeing me get down getting back up taught it's OK too They've learned mope alone rooms falling a solitary depression We a family know we our best support system course there's time where anyone needs space simplest idea I came up my kids a door hanger ( " disturb o­nes hotels). o­ne side says "come hug me other side says "I want alone now . When my middle daughter feeling down she'll go her room play Lonestar's "I'm Already There . song played her Dad's funeral She can cry beat her pillow alone When she's feeling she'll flip over her door hanger simply come out a hug Where go here I a strong believer seeking professional help help children deal grieving process We went our family doctor a week death asked help seeking out a counseling service He told us best care around local Hospice you're lost looking help get kids I'd highly recommend My children did group care called "Kids Club o­nce a week actually looked forward meetings There able relate other children who'd lost a parent a sibling learned healthy ways deal grief come up various times lives Again learned OK talk Dad even though he gone Though might hard sure find time yourself Time own grieving process time own life dismiss books o­n loss Though I never a big believer 'book help' I'm finding reading help nothing learning I'm feeling normal Find adult grief support group can o­ne alone o­ne parents a group runs time place children's group Though there a lot tears shed my group there also a lot laughter know felt good nothing else got me out house o­nce a week people really understood how I felt People didn't avoid me fear saying wrong thing People didn't look me I had two head when I cried over silliest thing can expect help children help yourself I've started a message board regular board here. Though majority single parents divorce often just chat offer humour offer advice raising a child alone Also ParentsWorld.netParentsWorld.org